


Bitter cold

by Elenyafinwe



Series: Peredhil [16]
Category: TOLKIEN J. R. R. - Works & Related Fandoms, The Lord of the Rings - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Emotional Hurt, F/M, Hurt, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Loss, Love, Rivendell | Imladris, Third Age, Tragic Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-19
Updated: 2020-10-20
Packaged: 2021-03-08 18:14:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,056
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27101023
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Elenyafinwe/pseuds/Elenyafinwe
Summary: Actually, Celebrían's trip to her parents in Lórien should have been just a harmless one, but only a few weeks later Elrond gets the bad news: the escort was attacked and Celebrían captured. He sets off immediately to free her, but he does not arrive in time to prevent the worst.
Relationships: Celebrían/Elrond Peredhel
Series: Peredhil [16]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2077245
Comments: 2
Kudos: 9





	1. Vilya

**Author's Note:**

> While translating this I've decided to put the three separate OneShots I have about this topic into one text. They still stand on their own but all play in the same headcanon.
> 
> The first text is a rather old one (from 2013). I was never very happy with it and how it turned out. But I don't feel like reworking this anytime soon. The ideas about Vilya's powers that are presented here are purely fictional. As far as I know, nowhere are the powers of the Three really mentioned exactly, except that they were used for healing and preservation. But maybe the Ring of Air could blow a little bit ...
> 
> The original German text: [Vilya](https://storyhub.de/fanfictions/b%C3%BCcher/der-herr-der-ringe/vilya)

When the late afternoon sun's rays tickled his nose and woke him up, Elrond wondered why no one - especially his wife - had not thrown him out of bed much earlier. He was even more astonished that Celebrían was still in bed, snuggled tightly against him. He had to smile involuntarily: waking up like that was the most beautiful thing.

When Celebrían, who had been awake for a while, noticed that he too had now escaped the realm of dreams, she smiled and snuggled up tighter to him. He pulled her into his arms and stole a kiss.

"Was my dearest late riser finally content to step among the wakened?", she teased him.

He gave her a nudge on the nose and began to caress her. "As if I wanted to waste even one moment with you!"

Now she stole a kiss. He kept her with him and deepened the kiss.

At that moment the door flew open.

The Lord and Lady of Imladris drove apart and looked at Ceomon in shock. "What is this?" hissed Elrond. "These are our private quarters!"

"That has never made a difference to me and Rethtulu," Ceomon countered. "It is already far too late, Lord Elrond. The whole household is waiting for you. Besides, your sons have long since seized the moment and brought disaster."

Elrond buried his face in the pillow and moaned. The day had begun so beautifully!

"How nice", Celebrían commented quite enthusiastically. "They don't want their mother to go travelling."

"You are far too indulgent with them," grumbled Elrond into the pillow.

Celebrían laughed. "Says the man who lavishes love on his little daughter."

Ceomon cleared his throat.

"Yes, yes, we're coming," growled Elrond and forced himself out of bed. His mood was already in the cellar again, because that day Celebrían wanted to set off once again on a trip to Lórien and to her parents. He missed her already now, when she hadn't even left yet.

After breakfast, which admittedly was very late, Elrond's task as head of the house was to coordinate the preparations for Celebrían's departure. It was pure chaos, at the centre of which he stood and literally went round in circles. Again and again Lindir's silly songs echoed through the house. Glorfindel once again snarled furiously at anyone who came too close. Elladan and Elrohir instigated even more chaos. In general, it was the usual madness. The only ones who made themselves useful were Elrond's two servants, who bravely fought against the chaos, and Arwen, who helped her mother pack her clothes.

Shortly before Elrond became completely desperate and fell into madness, they finished at midday. The horses were saddled and partly loaded. The escort was ready. He hated being separated from Celebrían. At the same time he could not forbid her to visit her family or to go with her.

Together with Celebrían and his children he entered the courtyard. Once again he took his wonderful wife in his arms and kissed her. "Take care of yourself." He stroked her face.

Celebrían smiled encouragingly. "Oh, Elrond, eternally moping. You look as if we will never see each other again. It's just a visit to Mother and Father."

"I miss you already."

"And I miss you.

With a heavy heart Elrond helped Celebrían on her snow-white horse after she had also said goodbye to her children. Then she rode off, accompanied by her chambermaid and the escort. Elrond watched her with a sinister expression.

Later that day, when peace had returned to the house, he found his children standing thoughtfully in front of a picture he had painted, shortly after he had first met Celebrían. Arwen and the twins looked at the mural in silence.

"Well, I've never seen you like this before," he remarked as he joined them and pulled Arwen into his arms. Maybe he did spoil her, but he only had one daughter.

"Does mother know that you painted her there?", Arwen asked.

"Yes, she knows that", he confirmed.

Elladan grinned. "The way you painted her, I don't want to know how lovesick you were."

Elrond's features slipped away. "This is absolutely none of your business, son!" he said sternly.

"What a pity," it came out of the twins' mouth.

Arwen laughed.

"But really, _adar_ ," said Elrohir. "Why did you choose a woman who must travel so much?"

"You are clearly not in a position to reproach me, boy!" Elrond clarified in an upset. "You'd better ask why my wife has spoiled you so."

"What? Oh, no! No way," the twins claimed.

Elrond left it at that and moved on.

The following weeks were uneventful and clearly too quiet for Elrond's taste. Ceomon had to remind him regularly to take his permanently bad mood out only on Glorfindel and not on innocent elves. Much to the chagrin of Glorfindel, of course.

It was one of those empty days without Celebrían. Elrond sat in his study and went through his papers. Arwen was knitting and he had the twins do sword exercises with Glorfindel. That should at least keep them busy enough to give them rest for the remaining day. Somewhere in the valley Lindir was singing his songs in the trees. They had a visitor. Seen in this light, Lindir was really practical.

Only a few moments later, and Elrond was indeed astonished, Ceomon stormed into the room with a torn looking Elf. The master of the house was startled. Hadn't this Elf been part of Celebrían's escort ...?

" Lord Elrond ", Ceomon began. "Bad news."

"My Lord." The Elf bowed. "We were ambushed by Orcs. They were too strong. We were far inferior. Only I escaped, I'm sorry. The others were all slain. Your wife is captured."

Elrond was speechless at the news. He felt overwhelmed. "How?" he finally breathed.

"The ambush came unexpectedly halfway to Lórien," he reported. "It happened at night near the Misty Mountains and caught us unprepared. We sold our skin as expensively as possible, but we were faced with a superior force. Most were slain in the first attack, the others were captured and later judged, only Celebrían's life was spared. I was the only one who escaped."

Elrond grabbed him hard by the shoulders. "And why did you not free her too? Why?" he shouted. Vilya glowed on his hand, as always when he felt anger.

"Lord ...", the Elf brought forth pitifully.

"Elrond!", Ceomon said warningly, deliberately disregarding the polite form. "It is enough, he has done well."

Elrond paused and let go of the Elf. "You will guide me to the scene of the event," he said. "Ceomon, send Rethtulu to help me put on my armor. Put on your own and then send Glorfindel to call his people to arms. We must free Celebrían!"

Ceomon bowed and led the other Elf out. Contrary to Elrond's order, however, he first supplied the Elf after sending Rethtulu to his master.

Elrond stormed out of the room and into his chambers. Far too hastily he rummaged through a big old box where he thought his armour was - but he was not sure, he had not worn it for a long time. Shortly afterwards, however, the door flew open again and his sons raged in, followed by Arwen. She rushed forward and threw herself into her father's arms.

" _Adar!_ " cried the twins as if from one mouth.

"We heard from Ceomon what happened to _naneth_ ," Arwen sobbed. "It is so terrible!"

When he saw his daughter so desperate, something broke in Elrond. Immediately all his anger was smoky, he pressed her tightly to himself and cradled her as if she was still a little girl.

" _Adar_ , we will go with you," Elladan announced resolutely.

"The spawn will suffer," growled Elrohir and sounded alarmingly more determined than his brother.

"We will make them pay back five times what they did to _naneth_!" Elladan announced.

Elrond felt uneasy at the sight of his sons, and almost wanted to forbid them to do so. But then he saw the determination on their faces and knew that this time he would not be able to stop them. "Then arm yourselves and be ready to leave as soon as possible."

At first the twins seemed surprised that their father agreed so quickly and, above all, without contradiction. But then they smiled resolutely and set off.

"Arwen", Elrond turned to his daughter. "Send a message to your grandparents; they too should know what has happened to their daughter. Also write to them that we are riding out to free her today."

Arwen nodded and left as well.

Meanwhile, Rethtulu had appeared - with Elrond's armour, which he had kept, of course. He said nothing to the rumpled box, he just raised an eyebrow. Then he helped Elrond into the armour, his own he wore as usual anyway. They remained silent, and so they became aware of the hectic activity that had broken out in Rivendell. Elves hurried back and forth everywhere, Glorfindel roared orders in the yard. Horses neighing, hooves rattling on the stone.

Elrond's shoulders began to shake. He cried silently, his hands clenched in fists. Why always him? Why did it always have to be his loved ones? Oh Celebrían!

Rethtulu, no matter how dutiful a servant he may be, was out of his depth here. As far as interpersonal relationships were concerned, he had never shown much talent.

"We will be able to free her," he tried.

"I cannot bear the thought of what they might have done to her," Elrond lamented.

Again, Rethtulu knew nothing to answer this.

Once he was ready, it took Elrond a moment to pull himself together. He took a deep breath. Only then did he step outside, followed by Rethtulu, to coordinate their departure. Since this time not only Glorfindel but also Elrond and his sons were pushing the soldiers, it took just over an hour before everyone was ready to leave.

Elrond had summoned just about every armed Elf in the valley and only a few guards would be left behind. Thus a considerable force moved out, for it was said that the orcs who held Celebrían captive were very numerous. They set out on horseback, Elrond in front, flanked by his sons and just behind them Ceomon and Rethtulu. The grief had disappeared and made way for blazing anger. It was not without reason that Ceomon noticed that Vilya glowed ominously at Elrond's hand. He knew the power of the Ring ...

The Elf, who had brought them the news of Celebrían's capture, had by now received some, albeit insufficient, rest. Elrond had him ride with him to show them the way.

On this and the following days, they rode through as long as their horses allowed, and since they were horses bred by the Elves, this meant that they usually rode not only from sunrise to sunset with short breaks in between. It was only when the messenger thought they would reach their destination in a few days that Elrond had the speed slowed down a little, even though his sons were now pressing for speed. But reason prevailed, it was better if they had all their strength together when the battle came.

Finally the messenger told them to dismount and go on foot. They had almost reached their destination, and now it was more advisable not to be too conspicuous. Grim determination gripped Elrond and his sons as they walked ahead of the retinue, led by the messenger. Soon Celebrían would be free again, soon her martyrdom would be avenged. They never doubted their success for a moment.

Finally the messenger stopped at the edge of a clearing in the middle of a small forest. "This is where we were attacked," he said quietly.

Still the last traces of the attack could be seen. Here and there scattered baggage, which had not yet been looted, scattered debris and also one or two lost weapons, both from Elf and Orc. They did not see any dead, but that had nothing to say after that time.

Ceomon and Rethtulu looked at the traces and tried to read as much as possible from them, even though they had been at the mercy of the weather for several weeks by now. Accordingly, they found out very little that had not been obvious at first sight.

When they returned, the messenger pointed to the opposite side of the clearing. "There, in that direction, lies the orc cave where they took Lady Celebrían," he said.

Elrond nodded. "Very well then," he said, and then ordered: "Loose march formation, ready for battle at all times! And be quiet, we need the element of surprise on our side."

They left the horses and their baggage behind and took only their weapons. Then they crept off, following the whispered instructions of the messenger.

Soon they noticed the first scout posts near the cave, sitting well hidden in the trees, but not good enough for Elven eyes. Elrond instructed some of the archers with gestures to shoot the Orcs silently from the trees. The sinews sang and already the Orcs fell deadly hit from the trees. A few branches cracked and cracked, but apart from that, everything had gone on silently, yet it was noise enough for Elrond to look around worried. For the Orcs had cleared the land a good fifty paces from the rock face where their cave entrance lay, leaving no cover. An Orc appeared at the cave entrance, looked around and saw the bodies of the scout posts lying under the trees near the clearing line. He squealed, made an about-turn and disappeared into the cave. The Elven arrows were not fast enough to reach him. Elrond cursed.

"Draw swords!" he hissed. Following an impulse he had drawn his own sword long ago and now he jumped up.

Behind him the swords rattled as they were drawn. Glorfindel shouted some orders, then they stormed forward, first of all Elrond and his sons.

The cave entrance itself was narrow, only two could walk next to each other at the same time. A small tunnel followed, which could be well defended, but soon got lost in a wide cave. The orcs were too surprised to put up a reasonable defence. Yes, they were numerous, the whole cave was full of them, as they sat around fire in small groups or jumped around and shouted wildly. So it was a surprise for them, despite the orc who had sounded the alarm, when the elves stormed the cave.

With a cry of rage Elrond gestured with one hand. Vilya glowed ominously. A mighty gale of hurricanes swept through the cave and wiped away everything in its path. The orcs and everything that was not nailed down were hurled through the air as if they were no lighter than leaves in the wind. The fires died out with one blow. To face an Elf in his wrath was frightening enough. To face an Elven Lord who also wore the mightiest of the Elven Rings was deadly. Many an orc did not rise any more, a lot of them had broken limbs.

Elladan and Elrohir paused for a moment when, for the first time in their lives, they encountered the power of Vilya so directly. But then they grabbed their swords tighter and followed their father into battle.

Since Elrond's only thought was to find Celebrían and to let as many orcs as possible get acquainted with his sword, Glorfindel thought it better that he now gave the orders. He found a raised post, a boulder that the whirlwind had knocked over, and gave his orders from where he had a good view. The Elves swarmed out and attacked the Orcs, who were taken completely by surprise and barely managed to take up their weapons themselves.

"Ceomon, Rethtulu!" Glorfindel shouted to them. "See that you get to Elrond, he is somewhere over there."

The two nodded and followed Glorfindel's beckoning. Even they had lost track of the situation for a brief moment and Elrond had already been lost to them.

Elrond himself paid little attention to what was coming in front of his blade. He had only one goal left: to find Celebrían and free her from this terrible place. And that could hardly go fast enough for him. Love was indeed blinding, and so he overlooked an Orc who had been shattered by his first attack. He stumbled over the lifeless body, stumbled and fell painfully. And already an Orc was upon him, raised the knife and -

The all-too-famous blade of Amrod, wielded by Elladan, plunged into the Orc's skull and cut him down. Elrohir, Ceomon and Rethtulu gave him cover. Elladan helped his father back on his feet.

"Come, _adar_ , there is a passage leading deeper into it," he said. " _Naneth_ is not here, let's look over there."

Elrond nodded and took one last look into the cave. His people were all involved in fierce battles with the Orcs, but it looked good. Their leader had already fallen from his blade, after all.

The five hurried into the passage Elladan had addressed. Rethtulu had found a torch from somewhere and lit it with a still smouldering wood shaving. The torch blazed and flickered, but the faint, erratic light was enough for them to see what they had to do. Again and again Orcs jumped towards them, but they could not be stopped by anyone.

The passage, winding and roughly hewn, led deeper into the mountain. The ground was uneven and they had to be careful not to stumble. But there were no branches, until the passage finally ended in another, albeit much smaller cave.

Apparently it was used to hold hostages here, because there were cages everywhere and cells locked with bars in the walls. Only a few guards were here, and it was assumed that no one escaped from here.

The dozen Orcs jumped up in horror when they saw the five intruders. Elrond resolutely raised a hand to them and they were seized by a strong gust in the main cave, as before, and torn from their feet. Immediately the twins, as well as Ceomon and Rethtulu, pounced on them, while Elrond hurried to the cell where Celebrían was held prisoner. He smashed the lock, tore open the barred door and let himself sink to the ground next to her, breathless. To his horror, however, she fled from him with eyes wide with fear as he tried to take her in his arms.

"Celebrían, it's me," he said gently and confusedly. "You don't need to be afraid any more, you are safe now."

But she just whimpered, shook her head and made herself even smaller than she already was. She looked terrible. Her dress was torn to shreds, she was dirty and hurt everywhere. And…

And then Elrond understood what had happened to her. " _A Eru tire_ ," he breathed in horror. The Orcs had defiled her in the most horrible way!

With a terrible roar, Elladan lunged at the slain Orcs and hacked at them like mad when he understood. Rethtulu grabbed him and dragged him away.

"Young Lord, come to your senses," he cried.

Elladan growled, struggled a little more against Rethtulu's grip and gave up. He burst into tears. What had been done to their mother!

Elrond was thunderstruck, so terrible was what Celebrían had suffered. Worse still, she did not let him near her. A small, rational part of his mind knew that he had to give her time, but the vast majority longed for her closeness. He took a deep breath and tried to think rationally, as hard as it was for him.

"Is there a woman among our people?" he asked Ceomon matt.

At first he frowned questioningly, but then he understood. "Yes, one. I will bring her here." He hurried away.

Elrond let himself sink to the ground a short distance from Celebrían. He wanted to do something, he had to do something. But what?! His sons sat down beside him, as dejected as he was. It was far worse than they had believed in their darkest imaginings.

Soon after Ceomon returned with the Elf, because the fights in the main cave had ended victoriously for the Elves without any losses in the meantime. She was a healer and had specialised in battle injuries, hence she was here. Now she was their only hope to get to Celebrían.

When the Elf reached Celebrían, she only gave a soft "Oh!" But then she hurried immediately to the Lady and spoke softly to her. Celebrían raised her head.

It hurt Elrond in his soul that it was not he who could help his wife.

Since nobody wanted to stay longer than necessary, they started their way home as soon as possible and rode off again that very day. They rode into the twilight and then stopped for a rest. Although it had not been too long, they had covered a considerable distance.

Although they had succeeded in freeing Celebrían, everyone quickly learned that it was better not to approach Elrond. His moods were more miserable than ever and even Ceomon avoided him these days. Celebrían also let the Elf woman alone approach her for many more days and even retreated from her husband and sons. For many days there was no improvement to be seen, only when she saw Rivendell in front of her, she became a bit more sociable again.

Weeks and soon months went by, and the only thing that improved noticeably was Celebrian's physical health. Her wounds healed quickly, she was an Elf and in Elrond's personal care; he did little else but care for her. But not even he could heal the wounds on her soul ...

During this time Galadriel and Celeborn also came personally to Rivendell to look after their daughter. Although they assured that they were more than aware that Celebrían was in the best hands with him, Elrond felt guilty towards them that Celebrían was still hardly better off. Despite the fact that he even took Vilya to help her heal. Otherwise it had always helped and even sometimes performed true miracles, but the poison was too deep, her mental wounds were too strong.

When finally even one year had passed, Elrond had to admit to himself that he had failed for the first time in his life as a healer. And that he had failed his wife of all people!

In all the months since her rescue, she had become increasingly fatigued. She was visibly losing the joy of life, the courage, hope ...

Perhaps it had been foreseen that this would happen, and yet Elrond was caught off guard when Celebrían finally spoke of leaving these lands to find healing in Aman. Desperation, the likes of which he had never experienced before in his life, overwhelmed him. But in the end, he only wanted her to be happy. And if it meant that they would not see each other for many years ...

Soon the Elf had managed to lure Celebrían out of her passivity a little. She took her by the hands, straightened her up and led her outside step by step, always keeping eye contact and constantly talking to her. As she passed Elrond, she paused briefly, but as he did not move in any way, she walked on.

Elrond remained seated for quite a while. He sighed. Then he too rose and with him his sons. They left this terrible place with sloping shoulders.

The warriors had already gathered in front of the cave. Under Glorfindels command they had piled up the corpses of the Orcs and were about to set them on fire. Elrond watched for the Elv and his wife, who were staying in the forest away from it all, and went to them, but stayed in the background. The Orcs would have had to suffer so much more for all this! He clenched his hands into fists. Then he took a deep breath and looked more closely at Celebrían's suffering, as far as he could from a distance. With the remedies he was given and the order to the twins to find more herbs, he set about putting together various medicines. He finally waved the Elfin over when he was finished.

"Please give her this," he simply asked.

She nodded and wanted to leave again, but then she paused once more. "She will let you get back to her soon, I think. You must give her time", she said. "You can't imagine what she had been through. Not even I can. It is a miracle that she is still in her right mind. The Lady Celebrían is very strong."

He remained silent for a moment. "You are probably right..." he said softly.

The Elf smiled encouragingly and went back to work. In order to do anything himself, Elrond and his sons set about caring for the other injured.

Since nobody wanted to stay longer than necessary, they started their way home as soon as possible and rode off again that very day. They rode into the twilight and then stopped for a rest. Although it had not been too long, they had covered a considerable distance.

Although they had succeeded in freeing Celebrían, everyone quickly learned that it was better not to approach Elrond. His moods were more miserable than ever and even Ceomon avoided him these days. Celebrían also let the Elf woman alone approach her for many more days and even retreated from her husband and sons. For many days there was no improvement to be seen, only when she saw Rivendell in front of her, she became a bit more sociable again.

Weeks and soon months went by, and the only thing that improved noticeably was Celebrian's physical health. Her wounds healed quickly, she was an Elf and in Elrond's personal care; he did little else but care for her. But not even he could heal the wounds on her soul ...

During this time Galadriel and Celeborn also came personally to Rivendell to look after their daughter. Although they assured them that they were more than aware that Celebrían was in the best hands with him, Elrond felt guilty towards them that Celebrían was still hardly better off. Despite the fact that he even took Vilya to help her heal. Other times it had always helped and even sometimes performed true miracles, but the poison was too deep, her mental wounds were too severe.

When finally even one year had passed, Elrond had to admit to himself that he had failed for the first time in his life as a healer. And that he had failed his wife of all people!

In all the months since her rescue, she had become increasingly fatigued. She was visibly losing the joy of life, the courage, hope ...

Perhaps it had been foreseen that this would happen, and yet Elrond was caught off guard when Celebrían finally spoke of leaving these lands to find healing in Aman. Desperation, the likes of which he had never experienced before in his life, overwhelmed him. But in the end, he only wanted her to be happy. And if it meant that they would not see each other for many years ...


	2. Bitter cold

Elrond felt lonely, although he was not. As so often in recent weeks and months, he lay awake, staring out into the night. His head was full of thoughts that would not let go of him.

His gaze wandered to his bed where Celebrían slept, a delicate figure barely visible under the blankets. He himself had curled up on the sofa and pulled his old patchwork blanket up to his ears. He almost wished for the old stuffed bear that Maglor, his foster father, had sewn to him so many years ago. Instead, he wrapped himself tighter in his blanket. Many who had meant something to him in his childhood and youth had made a small contribution. At least it gave him some comfort.

Everything felt so cold inside him. He longed for his wife, but she would not let him near her, not since those terrible things had happened. As soon as he touched her even slightly, she clenched herself and retreated. He saw it in her eyes: She didn't want that either, but she just couldn't help herself. Her physical wounds had healed quickly, they were not too big a problem. But her mental wounds ... He knew no cure for them.

And that made him furious.

It was said that he was the most capable healer of these lands, if he did not know what to do, nobody did. How could he fail with his own wife of all people? With Celebrían, of all people, that was the worst of all. If it had been anyone, he could have crawled into a quiet corner and berated himself. But Celebrían meant so much to him, there was so much more to it than just personal incapacity.

He snorted gruffly. Every night the same thoughts. He hadn't slept properly for weeks, that wouldn't help him in his task to find a cure for Celebrían! This night, at least, he would not be able to find any sleep if he continued like this. He decided that at least for the time being there was no point in lying awake any more.

So he got up, wrapped himself in his blanket and quietly left his rooms so as not to wake Celebrían. Ceomon's rooms were not far from his own, after all, he was still his chamberlain with Rethtulu and therefore had to be able to be with his Lord quickly if he needed anything. He had a guilty conscience to wake his friend at this time, but lying awake even longer would simply get him nowhere.

Timidly he knocked. Only moments later Ceomon opened and blinked at his Lord with sleepy eyes.

"Can't sleep." Elrond smiled apologetically.

Ceomon frowned, then he smiled. "But I cannot take you in my arms and bring you to Prince Maglor as I did in Ossiriand," he said and let him in.

Elrond followed suit.

"What is it that robs you of your sleep?" Ceomon inquired after he had closed the door again.

"Too many thoughts." Meanwhile, Elrond looked around in the dark for a place to sit.

Ceomon came before him and lit a candle. Then they sat down together at a small round table.

"I have tried everything to get rid of them," said Elrond. "Even something an old herb witch had once advised me many years ago somewhere in the wilderness. _Meditation_." That last one didn't sound very convincing.

"How about sleeping drugs?" suggested Ceomon.

"They are not a permanent solution, you know that," Elrond reminded him. "One day you won't be able to sleep at all without them."

"That's true."

"And so I thought it might be an option to come to you," Elrond explained.

Ceomon grinned. "And now you want me to chase the monsters out of your closets and sing you a lullaby?" he joked.

Elrond gave him a nudge on the arm. "Stop it!" But he too had to grin. "I am not a little child any more. Besides, Uncle Maglor had always sung that lullaby."

"But he isn't here, so I have to do this," Ceomon reminded him. "Or you can sing yourself a lullaby, which you probably do better than I do."

Elrond could not help but laugh. There were times when Ceomon really had to play his wet nurse, but at that moment, this performance amused him immensely.

"But seriously," Ceomon continued. "Have you ever tried to read an exciting book? There's one that came on the market the other day that's supposed to be so good."

"You know I have no use for novels," Elrond rebuffed. "I see no point in not putting stories in verse. What are you supposed to do with them then?"

"To retell them, for example," suggested Ceomon. "There are many storytellers who are very good at that."

Elrond looked at him doubtfully. "Uncle Maglor used to sing the stories to us and they were much more exciting that way."

Ceomon shook his head in laughter. "Sometimes you are an incorrigible stubborn person."

"Look who's talking!" Elrond complained. "The one whom I have so often forbidden to call me Lord, and who still does."

"But Lord," protested Ceomon. "That is the proper thing to do. Where would we be if I stopped doing it?!"

"To a normal, friendly relationship, I would think," said Elrond.

Ceomon seemed downright horrified at this thought. "You are the Lord of the Valley and bearer of Vilya, I cannot do that!"

They were friends, of course, because Ceomon did what he wanted in the end, even though he always said that he obeyed his word. He just liked to interpret in his own way what Elrond told him to do ...

Through this conversation, Elrond had noticed that he was getting tired after all. He had to suppress a yawn.

Ceomon jumped up. "Wait a moment and don't run away!" He hurried away and returned shortly afterwards with a filled wine goblet. "Here, this will help." He handed the goblet to Elrond.

He sniffed the drink. "A sleeping draught," he said. "We've only just talked about that."

" Once it will do," Ceomon tried to persuade him.

Elrond sighed, but let himself be carried away.

"If you want, you can have my bed tonight," Ceomon offered.

"And where will you sleep then?", Elrond wanted to know.

"On the sofa, for example."

"No, out of the question!"

Ceomon waved. "You've been sleeping on your sofa for weeks, and by now it's more than obvious. No way, you're sleeping in my bed tonight!"

Unfortunately, the sleeping medicine was already showing its effects and Elrond noticed that his eyes were getting heavy. Constricted, he gave in. Quietly, however, he had to admit to himself that it was quite pleasant to sleep in a bed once again. Even if without Celebrían in his arms ...

" _Hantean len_ ", he said softly, then he was almost asleep.

His sleep was deep and calm and more restful than it had been for weeks. Ceomon let him sleep as long as he wanted. Accordingly, he only woke up around noon.

Sleepily, he rubbed his eyes, yawned and stretched. It took him a while to realize that he had not woken up in his own chambers.

Startled, he jumped up and hurried into his rooms. Celebrían must have wondered where he was; he never woke up before her, without exception.

As he had expected, she was already awake. Still wrapped in her white nightdress, she stood at the window of her sleeping chamber, looked outside and enjoyed the warm sunrays on her face. When he entered the room, she turned to him. He put on an apologetic face.

Maybe he was acting silly or inappropriate to his position, but when it came to Celebrían, he didn't care. He would do anything for her! And what he wouldn't do to regain her closeness, her warmth, her unlimited love for him.

For there he was again, that sad and pitiful look she had been giving him lately. This look caused him the greatest concern. Had Celebrían already given up hope that he could help her after all?

"It doesn't matter, Ceomon already informed me this morning," she answered the unspoken apology on his part. She examined him. "It was probably just as well. You haven't had a decent night's sleep in a long time."

He dismissed it with a shrug of the shoulders. "The important thing is that you're all right." He smiled and tried to joke. "My little problem patient." With little success. Immediately he got serious again.

A bitter expression came into Celebrían's eyes. "Elrond..." she began. She seemed to search for words. "I don't think that you ... well, that you can help me anymore. Not here anyway."

He thought his heart stopped. "Celebrian..." She could not have really said that! "Of course I can help you. I've found a solution for everything so far."

She just shook her head slowly. "There is no cure for that in these lands. I'm sorry."

Everything was frozen. Elrond was unable to move, to think. She stepped slowly before him and reached out to him. She trembled. Then she stroked his cheek tenderly and wiped away a tear that had stolen from his eyes.

"You know I don't want any of this either, don't you?" Insecurity sounded in her voice.

"Of course", he breathed. The touch of her hand, tender as it was, was like a balm for his soul. But her words cut deep. " _Melin tyé_."

" _Istan_."

An unpleasant silence arose between them. Elrond breathed heavily as he wrestled with his tears. It all had to be a bad dream, it simply could not be reality.

"I think I will find my only healing in the West," Celebrían finally said quietly.

Elrond looked at her and saw that all this did not suit her either, that she too wished there was another way than this. But there was not, he too had to see it. Maybe he had known deep inside himself for a long time that this day would come.

"I wish I could stay with you', she said softly. "I love you so much. But I can't..." She trembled all over and wrestled with herself. But then she snuggled up against him and wrapped her arms around him.

Elrond could no longer hold on to himself. He burst into tears. He pressed his beloved close to him and buried his face in her beautiful hair. He did not want to lose her, and at least not like this: because of his own incapacity. How could he live without her?

"I will always be with you," Celebrían promised whispering. " _Tennoio_."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hantean len - I thank you; Quenya  
> melin tyé - I love you; Quenya (here the aorist was deliberately chosen, a tense that does not exist in English (I think); it gives more expression to what is said here and expresses a more or less natural condition for the intimate relationship between the two)  
> istan - I know; Quenya  
> tennoio - forever; Quenya


	3. Memories

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a Songfic for Memories by Within Temptation

Unperturbed by all the worries of the world, the seagulls flew over the ports and sang their plaintive song. They did not seem to care that the last acts of a drama were played among them.

Elrond stood on the quay, away from the small group. He just didn't want to believe that all this was really happening. And most of all, he didn't want to admit that his failure alone had led to this point. Even Celebrían was able to stress so often that he was not to blame for her suffering, and yet he could not be convinced. He was said to be the best healer in Middle-earth, and Vilya certainly did its part in this. How could he fail with his beloved wife of all people?

Now Celebrían stood in the circle of her family, her parents and her children, for the last time and said goodbye to them before she boarded the ship and sailed to the West, hoping to find relief from her suffering there.

He felt like running away. Just to be far away from here and all this would only be a bad dream. If only it were that simple ...

Only when a stronger gust hit his robes did he notice that he had clenched his hands into fists and for a short moment Vilya was no longer fully under control. He was terrified. This should not have happened!

"Elrond, beloved, you are crying."

He hadn't even noticed that Celebrían had stepped up to him and was now looking up at him with concern. But he was the one who had to worry! Was he really so beside himself?

"I don't want this to happen here," he said quietly.

"But... you're not angry with me, are you?" asked Celebrían and great concern spoke from her voice.

Again he was startled. "No, never!" he hurried to say. "How could I? The only one to blame here is me ... I know you did everything you could, but I couldn't help you like I should have done."

Celebrían seemed to speak against it, but then she didn't. Instead she took his hand. "There is no other way now but this. One day we will meet again, _indo-ninya_. Mother is sure that I will be better off in Valinor, so you too can look to the future with more optimism."

"It is so hard when all I see for the future is suffering and war," he replied. There was a reason why he rarely spoke about his visions, because he didn't want to burden anyone with them. Least of all Celebrían and certainly not now.

"The memories of all the beautiful moments we had together will give you strength," Celebrían promised. "In your memories I will never leave you."

Shouldn't he be the one who radiated the optimism? Why couldn't he jump over his shadow at this particular time?

"I will always love you, indo-ninya, even ... even if we've had a hard time in the last few months," she said quietly.

Her slight shivering did not escape him of course. Shortly after her rescue she had not even been able to bear his touch. At least that had improved a bit over the months, but until the end they had slept in separate rooms. That had hurt him more than he wanted to admit.

"Look after the children, Elrond," she pleaded, "I think Elladan and Elrohir are about to do something stupid and hunt more Orcs than is good for them."

Meanwhile, tears were streaming down his face. He didn't care that it wasn't really appropriate for him, especially not in public. But at that moment he just wanted to hug Celebrían, hold her tight and never let go. And he hated the fact that he didn't dare to, for fear of scaring her off. She would reject him, and it would hurt her at least as much as it hurt him.

When he suddenly found himself in an embrace, something inside him broke.

"Please don't go, don't leave me," he sobbed. "I can't be without you."

"In your memories I will never leave you. We will meet again and all this will not be in vain." A tender kiss, just a touch, then she was gone.

Elrond stood on the quay for a long time, looking west, even after the ship's silver sails had long since disappeared behind the horizon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> indo-ninya – my heart, Qu.


End file.
